“I want to go home.” Many caregivers hear this from their loved one even when their loved one is sitting in the living room of the home they have lived in for many years. It also happens when there’s a change in environment or routine.
It’s upsetting to think your loved one no longer recognizes the environment around them, but this is part of the disease. The person may not believe they are in their home because they truly don’t recognize it. Or that person is likely not speaking literally but searching for the feeling of home – a sense of familiarity, security or comfort. So, what do you do in this situation?
As you so often do, you want to connect to the emotions behind the words instead of reorienting them to their place. In other words, “connect, don’t correct.” Validate their emotions and try to meet the emotional need. A hug or hand holding can soothe. Ask them to tell you about home and they may be able to tell you about the feeling of home.
If it’s not upsetting, you can reminisce about home, possibly using photographs in a photo album. If this upsets the person, distract them with a pleasurable activity – a walk, a favorite snack, or listening to music. You might need to make up an excuse as to why they can’t go home – “the house is being painted; we’ll go later” and distract with an activity.
Reassurance and comfort go a long way; let your loved one know they are safe, taken care of and loved.
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It’s upsetting to think your loved one no longer recognizes the environment around them, but this is part of the disease.
Totally agree Norm! To add to this:In the later stages when it is not posisble for sufferers to arrange things themselves it should be made easier for volunteer visitors much like hospital befrienders to access carehomes to visit those who have no-one else. Just because dementia sufferers cannot remember anything does NOT give anyone the right to ignore or take advantage (which seems to be happening a lot.); especially with specialists who see a patient once saying there is nothing that can be done. Solitary confinement is not deserved but many of our aged suffer this indignity. A great deal of difference in behaviour is seen with regular visits; contact and providing useful tasks and entertainment for all.We Mum and I have had a great deal of support from our community already in the form of the local pub displaying an art exhibition for Mum’s sketches which were enjoyed by all and raised awareness; tombola in town on Dementia Awareness Day 17th September; plant sales at car boots etc.This proves that Dementia sufferers even in a later stage of the disease can be involved in the local community and continue to enjoy (even just for that moment) being in a society that really cares. Dementia UK (Cornwall) I note are promoting Admiral Nursing excellent idea as we currently have none operating in Colrnwall and this should be rolled out everywhere.