He left his heart in San Francisco: Tony Bennett’s wife gives back to Alzheimer’s Association
Susan Benedetto first “met” Tony Bennett before she was even born—when her parents took a photo with him at his show. Years later, she and Tony fell in love and spent nearly 40 years together. Despite his Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Tony continued to perform with joy and grace. Now, Susan is honoring his legacy by joining the Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s® in San Francisco.
A chance meeting
In 1966 when Tony performed at the Copacabana Nightclub in New York, a young couple jokingly asked a cigar girl if they could take a photo with him. Tony agreed not knowing that this couple would later become his “in-laws.”
“I always thought it was a fun story, as did Tony,” said Susan Benedetto, Tony’s widow. “My folks were visiting [New York from San Francisco]. My mom was pregnant with me at the time and loved Tony since his first hit. [The cigar gal] came around and was asked, ‘Would you like your picture taken?’ My mom jokes, ‘Only if it’s with Tony Bennett.’ Ten minutes later, she came back and said, ’He’ll see you in his dressing room.’”
“[They were] total strangers and he invited them backstage to take a picture, and technically I was there since my mom was pregnant with me. Seventeen years later, I met Tony and I asked him to sign the picture. My mom says it was a prenatal influence! Fast forward, and I ended up marrying him.”
Meeting a second time
Susan, whose mother was fourth generation San Franciscan, was the youngest of three and the only girl. She calls herself an old soul who loves all the things from her parents’ generation, especially the music. By the age of 12, she became president of the Tony Bennett fan club in San Francisco which got her backstage access to a few of his shows. A family friend of Susan’s knew Tony personally and occasionally mentioned her name.
When Susan was 18, she heard Tony was performing a private show in town. “I called the Fairmont [hotel]. I knew where he was staying and he took my call,” said Susan. “He said, ‘Sure, come up and be my date.’ I didn’t think anything of it. I went to the private show and then out afterwards. Little did I realize, he really wanted me to be his date. I thought, great I saw the show, we had fun going out, he’s never gonna call me. Two weeks later, he called me and the rest is history.”
Susan and Tony got married 23 years later in 2007 and remained together until his passing two weeks before his 97th birthday.
Forgetting names
When Tony was in his late 80s, still performing hits like “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” he was having a hard time remembering the names of the musicians on stage. “I thought it was his age,” said Susan. “He always drew out the musicians and gave them their due. [I said], ‘Not a problem, we’ll put their names on the piano.’”
Tony continued to be bothered by the fact he could no longer remember names. He asked Susan to take him to the doctor. “It was unlike Tony,” said Susan. “Who wants to go to the doctor? I’m the one that’s always like, you gotta go [to the doctor]. He did some testing with a neurologist. She diagnosed him with Alzheimer’s.
Over the years, Tony’s neurologist, Dr. Gayatri Devi, MD, MS, FACP, FAAN, became a family friend. “[She] was an exceptional doctor for my husband…exceptional neurologist and dear family friend…she was a big reason why Tony was able to keep performing.”
Continuing to perform
Susan and Tony told Danny, his eldest son and manager, about the news. They all assumed that with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Tony’s performing days were over. However, Tony felt great and didn’t understand what Alzheimer’s really was. He assured them nothing hurt and that he was fine.
“Tony’s neurologist [asked], ‘Does he want to stop singing?’” said Susan. “I told her, ‘No, he wants to keep singing.’ She said, ‘Then let him keep singing.’”
While Danny did reduce the number of performances Tony was accepting, he continued to perform flawlessly. Susan said, “Tony wouldn’t know what he had for dinner, but could sing for 90 minutes. Then once he was off the stage, he didn’t know he sang.”
Ending his legendary career
In order to protect Tony, it was decided it was best not to announce the Alzheimer’s diagnosis. They felt that as long as Tony could keep performing, he should. It was working for them until the COVID-19 pandemic hit. At that point, Tony lost contact with most of the outside world with the exception of his doctor, his trainer and his pianist.
“He was 93 when COVID hit,” said Susan. “His family would come over, when possible and when we felt safe, masked up. Tone didn’t understand the mask, so he wasn’t masked, but everyone else was.”
Coming out of the pandemic, the family wanted Tony to have the opportunity to end his career on a high note. Danny had the idea to close out Tony’s career by performing one final show with Lady Gaga on his 95th birthday. Knowing they could no longer hide his Alzheimer’s, they decided it was time to announce it publicly. On August 3, 2021, Tony defied gravity and took to the stage of Radio City performing solo and with his long-time duet partner Lady Gaga. His last public performance came two days later, again at Radio City with Lady Gaga. Both nights were sold-out.
The final years
For the next two years, Susan remained Tony’s primary caregiver. It wasn’t until the last few months that Susan had professional caregivers come in and help because she could no longer lift Tony if he needed assistance. A few days before his passing in July 2023, he asked Susan what song he should sing today. Susan told him “Because Of You,” which was Tony’s 1st number one hit.
“He had a great, long life,” said Susan. “And he never lost the memory of the lyrics. The day before he died, we got him up to exercise and to the piano. We were very blessed. He was always happy.”
Working with the Alzheimer’s Association
The Bennett family started working with the Alzheimer’s Association shortly before they publicly announced Tony’s diagnosis in 2021. It was important to them that they approach disclosing his diagnosis with care, raise awareness, reduce stigma, encourage conversations, while connecting families and fans with information and care and support services.
Later that year, in partnership with Tony and Lady Gaga, the Association released a PSA featuring footage from the duo’s GRAMMY-nominated album ‘Love For Sale.’ Gayle King, co-anchor of ‘CBS Mornings,’ narrated the awareness spot, highlighting the decade-long friendship and bond between Gaga and Bennett.
“Adjusting to my life without Tone has not been an easy thing to do,” said Susan. “I’m still involved with the arts education charity we started, but I wanted other types of volunteer work to honor his legacy.”
Two years after Tony’s death, Susan returned to the San Francisco Bay Area in 2025 and connected with the Alzheimer’s Association Northern California and Northern Nevada Chapter. Susan started a team for the Walk to End Alzheimer’s – San Francisco and is sharing her story wherever it’s helpful.
Susan is excited about experiencing her first Walk. “It’s a great way to build community. You’re around good people wanting to give back and help others in any way they can. We have to help each other.”
Finding joy
While Tony never lived in San Francisco, he loved the city. “I think he’d be thrilled [I’m participating in Walk],” said Susan. “He always believed in giving back.The idea that I’m doing it in his honor and his memory in the city he adored, he’d be proud.”
“The other thing Tone would like, reducing the stigma of something. [Lady Gaga said while working with Tony], ‘Things can change and you can still be magnificent.’ He always remained positive, and always believed in looking forward. Living with Alzheimer’s is a big struggle, but you can still find joy in your life and so can your loved ones. I think he’d be very much interested in making that known.”
About: Tony Bennett was a legendary American jazz and traditional pop singer. Born in New York in 1926, he grew up as the youngest of three. In 1944, Tony was drafted into the United States Army and fought in World War II. After returning from the war, he signed with Columbia Records and released his first number one hit, “Because of You” in 1951. Tony won 20 GRAMMY Awards, a Lifetime Achievement Award and two Primetime Emmy Awards. He sold more than 50 million records worldwide and earned a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
In honor of Tony, fans are invited to join Susan’s team, I Left My Heart in San Francisco, or to start your own team for Walk to End Alzheimer’s – San Francisco on October 18, 2025. Not in San Francisco? Find a Walk near you at alz.org/walk.
