John has become very fearful of riding in the car. Part of the problem is that somehow he believes that he is driving the car. Granted he’s seated in the front looking out through the windshield, but as I have pointed out to him over and over he is in the passenger seat.

Nonetheless, it doesn’t stop him from believing that he can control the car with his feet or by bunching up his pant leg and twisting it in the direction he wants the car to turn.

John trying to steer the car using his pant leg.

Sounds funny as I write this, but it is by turns terrifying, sad, frustrating and infuriating. This behavior began last September. I was driving home from an outing and John became hysterical: Truly scared out of his wits. I pulled over to find out what had happened and he started to lecture me about my driving. I was going too fast, passing too close to parked cars, not paying attention to name a few of the high points.

At first I reacted with surprise, but as he went on and on, I got angry. How dare he tell me how to drive! I had driven him around (his choice) for years and not a peep, but now that he can’t remember how to get home, he’s going to lecture me about my driving habits? I don’t remember much about the drive home except that it involved a lot of yelling.

After letting off some steam at my support group, I decided to try other tactics. I was returning to work after a three-month medical leave and would have to drive John to day-care several times a week. I didn’t want to start the mornings screaming at him or vice versa. And he was still in a clinical trial in San Francisco; how was I going to get him there and back? Continue reading “Uneasy Rider” »